Finally — I just finished the essay — which I’m calling “Time is a Predator” — on the Braddock trip I went on in July with the BrokenDayton Art Machine. It was due at the end of last month, but between a rather large technical difficulty and the assignment turning out to be far more challenging than I’d anticipated . . . yeah, let’s just say at this point that I’m just happy as hell the damn thing is finished.

I need to give it a final once-over tomorrow, and then I’ll be ready to send it off. Dunno when exactly it will be published. Possibly later this year, though I’m not sure if my tardiness will have caused that timeframe to be pushed back any. But rest assured, when I find out, so will you.

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I’ve not had a chance to watch the whole thing through yet, but CASEY JONES: THE MOVIE looks promising. It’s a gritty fan-made short film about the hockey mask wearing badass from the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movies and cartoons.

Here’s the trailer, which I am automatically inclined to dig since it features music from 1990′s original and most awesomest TMNT movie:

The destruction of our film heritage, which is the focus of concern today, is only the tip of the iceberg. American law does not protect our painters, sculptors, recording artists, authors, or filmmakers from having their lifework distorted, and their reputation ruined. If something is not done now to clearly state the moral rights of artists, current and future technologies will alter, mutilate, and destroy for future generations the subtle human truths and highest human feeling that talented individuals within our society have created.

A copyright is held in trust by its owner until it ultimately reverts to public domain. American works of art belong to the American public; they are part of our cultural history.

People who alter or destroy works of art and our cultural heritage for profit or as an exercise of power are barbarians, and if the laws of the United States continue to condone this behavior, history will surely classify us as a barbaric society. The preservation of our cultural heritage may not seem to be as politically sensitive an issue as “when life begins” or “when it should be appropriately terminated,” but it is important because it goes to the heart of what sets mankind apart. Creative expression is at the core of our humanness. Art is a distinctly human endeavor. We must have respect for it if we are to have any respect for the human race.

These current defacements are just the beginning. Today, engineers with their computers can add color to black-and-white movies, change the soundtrack, speed up the pace, and add or subtract material to the philosophical tastes of the copyright holder. Tommorrow, more advanced technology will be able to replace actors with “fresher faces,” or alter dialogue and change the movement of the actor’s lips to match. It will soon be possible to create a new “original” negative with whatever changes or alterations the copyright holder of the moment desires. The copyright holders, so far, have not been completely diligent in preserving the original negatives of films they control. In order to reconstruct old negatives, many archivists have had to go to Eastern bloc countries where American films have been better preserved.

[...]

The public’s interest is ultimately dominant over all other interests. And the proof of that is that even a copyright law only permits the creators and their estate a limited amount of time to enjoy the economic fruits of that work.

– George Lucas, speaking to Congress in 1988 about the need to enact legislation to prevent corporations and filmmakers from tampering with existing works.

Less than 10 years later the first of the STAR WARS Special Editions would be released.

The irony would be hysterical were it not completely overshadowed by the foul stench of Lucas’s present-day hypocrisy.

Taking a short break from work on the essay to share with you this awesome shot-for-shot, live-action remake of the song “After Today” from A GOOFY MOVIE:

A GOOFY MOVIE is one of my favorite Disney movies, and has a very catchy soundtrack that gets not infrequently listened to on my iPod, a fact I admit this with no shame. (Mostly ’cause there’s music on there that is far more embarrassing.)

That these kids were able to make a video of this quality utilizing only $100, a borrowed video camera, and 90-plus friends and family, and to do so in only six months in their spare time, is frankly impressive.

That’s, like, some real MacGyver shit there.

The trailer went up today for THE RUM DIARY, the upcoming movie based on the wonderful Hunter S. Thompson novel of the same name:

Looks like it should be a fun movie, and the manic tone seems similar to that of FEAR AND LOATHING IN LAS VEGAS, which makes sense as both are based on Thompson books that feature Johnny Depp as the protagonist. Plus it’s set in the Caribbean, which automatically gives it a gold star in my book.

One thing I do find funny is that, in the book, the main character of Paul Kemp is 22 years old (the same age Thompson was when he originally wrote the book in the 50′s), and Depp, who is portraying Kemp, is in his late forties. Not necessarily a big deal, but one of the themes of the novel involves the main character growing older and worrying about being “over the hill.”

Makes me curious how, or even if, the movie will touch on the subject of age.

A pitch for an as of yet unwritten movie called ONE RING TO BIND THEM:

A hilarious romantic comedy in the vein of THE HANGOVER, MY BEST FRIEND’S WEDDING, and THE LORD OF THE RINGS comes — ONE RING TO BIND THEM.

Set over a weekend in San Diego, the story opens as a wedding is being put together at a Comicon-like fantasy convention. The bride and groom, two die-hard Tolkien enthusiasts, are having a cosplay ceremony, and the entire wedding party is decked out in their finest Middle Earth attire.

When the bride-to-be’s wedding ring is accidentally mixed up with a replica of the One Ring the morning of the wedding, the Best Man and the Maid of Honor — neither of whom can stand the other — have to put aside their differences and form a Fellowship of their own to track down the missing ring.

As they quest their way across the convention center floor together, enduring a number of hilarious encounters and mishaps with all manner of geeks, romantic sparks begin to fly and their mutual dislike begins to transmogrify into something more.

High fantasy has never been this much crazy fun as they search for ONE RING TO BIND THEM…

Well, that’s my pitch. Hollywood producers, please drop me a note in the comments section if you wish to throw obscenely huge piles of money at me in return for a script.

Kind people at the Tolkien estate: Please don’t sue me.

The trailer for JOHN CARTER — the upcoming movie based on Edgar Rice Burroughs’s excellent book, JOHN CARTER OF MARS — looks absolutely phenomenal.

I have great and justified hope that this will be an amazing film. Its writer/director, one Andrew Stanton, is the same fellow who also wrote and directed Pixar’s FINDING NEMO and WALL-E. So clearly the man knows his shit. Michael Chabon also came in to do some rewrites, which can only have strengthened an already tight script.

JOHN CARTER’s story is actually based not on JOHN CARTER OF MARS, but on the first book in Burroughs’s Barsoom series (Barsoom, of course, being the Martians’ name for their planet), A PRINCESS OF MARS. I’m guessing after the MARS NEEDS MOMS debacle this spring, the executives at Disney wanted a non-girly sounding name that wouldn’t drive the teenage boys away in droves.

The movie doesn’t actually come out till next March, which isn’t exactly soon, but for now this trailer at least provides a tantalizing glimpse.

Rewatching ROSEMARY’S BABY the other night, I was reminded just how mental the last ten minutes of it is. I could remember what basically happens plot-wise, but what had escaped my memory is how sheerly unnerving it is watching a bunch of well-to-do senior citizens standing around a crib swathed in black, fanatically shouting things like “Hail Satan” and “God is dead” and “the year is one,” while the ominous musical score slowly grows louder and more intense.

I like to think that when the day approaches and my future spawn is about to be unleashed from its mother’s womb, the baby shower will look something like this. But with more younger people attending, of course.

My latest DVD review for Examiner.com’s Dayton edition is now live. I review MUTANT CHRONICLES, and quietly weep that such a badass and fantastic role-playing game was translated into a truly terrible film.

Here’s the opening paragraph:

There aren’t many movies out there based on role-playing games, and the quality of what few there are is debatable — DUNGEONS & DRAGONS, anyone? But then there is MUTANT CHRONICLES, which does not a thing to elevate the RPG-to-film genre.

Please check it out, and feel free to leave your thoughts in the comment section over there.

A couple of weeks ago I applied for and got a freelance gig writing DVD reviews for the Dayton edition of Examiner.com. I’ll be writing a couple of reviews a week for them about whichever movies I should feel like writing about.

“Cautiously optimistic” best describes my attitude about all this. It’ll be nice to actually produce content for something other than my blog, and to receive some financial compensation for it. If it goes well, then in theory my hope to parlay this into other jobs as well.

But we shall see.

I mention this to you now because my first review went up today, wherein I discuss my thoughts on THE TOURIST, specifically that with all high-caliber talent involved, it should have been a fantastic movie, instead of just being, well, mediocre. Here’s the opening line:

THE TOURIST is a film that tries to hearken back to an earlier era of glossy, romantic thrillers — the era of Grant, Hepburn, and Hitchcock — but doesn’t quite know how to get there.

Check out the rest of the review here, if you like. In fact, I would sincerely certainly appreciate it you did. And if you wish to comment on it, well, the more the better. Just please do so over on Examiner.com, so that my new overlords feel like they’re getting their money’s worth.

Hope you all like it.

Little bit behind the curve on this one, but last week I saw TRON: LEGACY with my good chum Adam. I wrote this review the next day, but for some reason or another didn’t post it right away, and then promptly forgot about it until now. Such is life.

So, TRON: LEGACY. We saw it in 3D on one of them fancy IMAX screens. I’m not even remotely a fan of 3D, but in this case, when coupled with the larger screen, it totally worked for me.

The movie itself was very well done, and I enjoyed it very much. The story was entertaining and coherent, at least for the most part. The visuals, looking suitably TRON-esque without being dated, were stunning, and an excellent soundtrack done by Daft Punk helped speed everything along.

Jeff Bridges is engaging in just about any role, and he was ridiculously and gloriously weird reprising his role of Flynn from the original. In LEGACY, Flynn — now a cross between Obi-Wan Kenobi and The Dude — spends most of his screen time rambling about various sorts of digital mysticism, things like “biodigital jazz,” if I remember correctly. And he calls his son “man” about fifty times, which struck me as terribly amusing.

The son character actually wasn’t too unlikeable, which surprised me. Usually in these sorts of movies, the protagonist’s son is a whiny brat whose sole purpose is to make stupid decisions and then get rescued by his old man. In LEGACY he’s still a bit of a punk, but his motivations made sense for the most part and he didn’t do anything too stupid, which already puts him ahead of the pack.

And Olivia Wilde? Damn. Let’s just say I’d let her ride my lightcycle any time.