Many a year ago, I used to play a game over at Nate‘s house called Night Raid. It was a relatively simple game, but very fun. You-as-the-character sit in a little turret, and try to kill all the paratroopers before they land on the ground and overrun your turret. That’s it.

What makes it so entertaining is the little touches of humor, and the gleeful carnage you can inflict. You can shoot out a paratrooper’s parachute, sending his flailing body to splat upon the ground, or you can pop the paratrooper himself, turning him into so much pixelated chunky salsa. Or you can simply destroy the warplanes that drop off the paratroopers. Debris from these planes can also kill soldiers on the ground. The humor comes from the Intermissions between each round. A plane will fly over head with a banner trailing, advising you to order from Apogee Games; or, if a lone paratrooper remains alive on the ground, a UFO will come and beam him up.

Okay, so that’s not really that funny. But. What is funny, what is goddamn hilarious, is the pizza delivery intermission. A pizza van navigates this war-torn land to deliver a pizza to our intrepid turret guy (Turreteer?). This delivery fellow must be really dedicated to doing his job, risking death and dismemberment to deliver a fucking pizza. Or he’s retarded. Which may in fact be true, for when he comes up to the turret door and says, “Pizza,” he sounds kind of like Corky from television’s “Life Goes On.” This sound effect alone use to send Nate and I’s thirteen-year-old counterparts into fits of adolescent giggling. *Sniff*. Ah, the memories.

Incidentally, you can download the shareware version of the game here. Let me know what you think, or if anyone else remembers the game.

JAB

I was going to post last night, but I ended up watching my Veronica Mars DVD and then fell asleep. Oh yeah, my life is exciting…

On Tuesday night, I went to Thai Nine with Nate and his aunt, Sam. The food was fantastic, as I expected. I got the chicken pad thai, cooked at level 5. Nate and Sam shared this gigantic wooden boat full of sushi. The boat nearly spanned the length of the table. It was huge.

Hanging out with Nate and Sam again brought back a lot of happy memories from my childhood. I’ve known Sam almost as long as I’ve known Nate — over a decade. I first met her when I started going downtown with Nate to visit her store on the weekends (she runs Sterling Silver in the Oregon District, a jewelry/gift store populated by hot, female customers). We’d walk Ralph, Sam’s dog,then eat at the China Buffet, and then go either be geeks at Cathartic Dreams or Challenger.

Cathartic Dreams was my first love. It was a cool store — in the nerdy sense — that sold all sorts of gaming supplies, as well as comics, books, and other geek-related paraphernalia. In the back of the store, they had a room set up with tables for gaming. One could go in on a Saturday and usually find some type of D&D game going on, as well as numerous CCG games. That’s where I first played Magic: the Gathering, Rage, Doom Trooper, and my most favorite, Star Trek: CCG. I met a lot of cool people back then (Jon, Jared, Judo, and Sean), some hated enemies (these obnoxious, old assholes, the Game Masters, who played their stupid roleplaying game), and a creepy guy: Frank. He was a fifty-ish — possibly older — hippy guy who hung out with us 12-16 year-old boys. At the time, it didn’t seem that weird, but now I realize ol’ Frank might have liked hanging out with us for reasons other than that we were nerds like him. Incidentally, I saw him a while back at the Dayton Mall. He was sitting alone at the little station where they have a TV and benches. He didn’t recognize me or anything, fortunately, and I certainly didn’t go over and talk to him. I just saw him and thought, Huh. I guess creepy old Frank is still alive after all.

Eventually, Nate and I started spending more and more time at Challenger. Challenger consisted of ten or more networked computers nestled inside a corner of Kendall Printing. It was operated by the Kendall boys, three thirty-ish guys who could’ve been the poster children for nerds. They ran a sweet business, though, and were pretty cool, so I won’t make too much fun. At Challenger, I learned to play sweet video games like Command & Conquer: Red Alert, Quake, and the awesomest game ever, Starcraft. A number of the same people who went to Cathartic Dreams also migrated to Challenger, except we all called each other by our call signs. Nate was Savage Garden, though Judo called him Savage Salad, which Nate absolutely hated. I went by the moniker Avatar, a name which really held no significance other than the fact that I just thought the word was cool. Other regular players were: Shaft, Apollyon, and Judo. There were a number of others, but their names escape me at this time. There was also Lord Set, a guy in his late thirties who was the shit at every game, and wasn’t bashful about it. He had this annoying habit of calling people “knobs.” He was weird. Carnage was another asshole, who pretty much everyone hated. Though Nate hated him probably the most (Oy, so much rage in that boy…).

I went downtown with Nate pretty much every Saturday for a number of years. I think I started to stop going around the time I got my first real girlfriend. Yeah, like that’s a big surprise… Both places are now out of business (though Kendall Printing still remains), and I wish they were still open. I’d love to be able to go down to those places again and waste countless hours with Nate. If I recall correctly, Nate did manage to go back there when he was a junior in high school. It was a couple of hours before the prom, and he and Todd made their dates sit while they probably played Starcraft in their tuxes. I went to prom with a different group, and we went to the Englewood Reserve before prom. It was a good time, but still…

I’d much rather have annihlated the Zerg and Protoss with Nate and Todd.

JAB

Amazing. How do I manage to find all of the dicks on Yahoo Pool?

This little gem occurred while I was taking a break from editing the first completed issue of “Destiny”:

jayrip2004: well well well we have satan da devil

satanismymojo: something like that

jayrip2004: sorry but i cant associate myself with one who associates themselves with the liar satan the devil satan is a liar and god hates liars so therefore i hate liars god can not lie

satanismymojo: whatever floats your boat

satanismymojo: but notice how i don’t hate you just ’cause your beliefs differ with mine

jayrip2004: i cant hear you liar

satanismymojo: of course you cant — i’m typing, not talking

jayrip2004: whatever liar

satanismymojo: sigh. anyways…

satanismymojo: so, go ahead and feel superior, since that’s obviously what you’re best at

At this point, I have been steadily kicking jayrip2004′s ass (who is a girl) for the past few minutes. She has just blown her shot and left me a clear path to the 8-ball and to the pocket. At this point, the little coward tries to cancel the game so it doesn’t show up as a loss on her stats and, consequently, drag her score down.

I, of course, am accomodating:

*** Cancel requested.
*** Cancel denied.

…and right before I make my easily sinkable shot, I can’t help but to make one more remark.

satanismymojo: now you can go

Okay, two more.

satanismymojo: hatemonger

jayrip2004 leaves with no further comment.

I’m willing to bet I’m gonna get a lot of these religious zealots with a name like satanismymojo. My goal from here on out is to make them all cry. That’s right — cry for mama.

JAB

I went to ComputerFest with my Dad today. Man, has that thing gone down hill over the last few years. Time was, when all of Hara Arena would have been packed wall to wall full of vendors plying their wares and geeks buying those wares. Since the Internet has become such a popular tool to order computer hardware and other stuff, less and less people go to conventions such as this to buy stuff. As it was, big green dividers were placed everywhere, cordoning off huge chunks of empty space, thus making it seem like the place was hopping.

One of the more interesting things I saw was a guy giving a demonstration on a little video camera to an enraptured crowed. He was very convincing, friendly polite, and dressed in a long white lab coat, like the ones I wear at work, to appear “knowledgeable.” He spouted terms like “removable hard drive” instead of memory card and said his little camera could take pictures, act as a voice recorder, and play mp3s. It really wasn’t that bad of a camera at two-hundred dollars. If I didn’t work in a photo lab and deal with this shit every day, I might have been willing to plunk down the money for one.

The other really cool thing — which I wish I’d known about earlier — was that one big room was devoted solely to LAN gaming. I peeked into the room and I saw an assload of people sitting at computers playing things like City of Heroes, Warcraft 3, some form of Unreal Tournament, and even the classic Starcraft. I talked to one of the dudes and he said the gaming had been going on and would continue through the night for 48 hours. I neglected to ask how much doing so costs, but I’d be willing to pay quite a bit to get in on some of that. I think next spring, when the next convention occurs, if they have the LAN gaming again, I’m gonna see if Nate wants to go with me and we can play Starcraft — or Warcraft 3, since I suspect I’ll really be into that game by spring — for hours on end. It certainly sounds like it’d be a blast.

JAB

So, like I usually do whilst studying, I was taking a break earlier today and playing a few rounds of Yahoo! Pool. How it works is, you join these little chatrooms so you can shoot pool and talk to people.

I generally don’t like talking to people on these things (Erin excluded), because it’s boring small talk and I’m doing other things while playing.

Enter tomlagosa. He joins my room, and we began to play. His first turn, he put in five balls right away. I checked his stats, and he’d won 200-something out of his last 300 games, which is pretty damn good. Then, I noticed tomlagosa had started talking to me. I immediately realized I was up against a great intellect and communicator, who was also quite humble about his pool-shooting skills.

tomlagosa: u like dat don’t u

Like I said, I don’t usually like making chit-chat, but I thought I’d be polite and respond, and then hopefully he’d leave me alone.

earthdiestonight: yep, I’m loving it

It was my turn and I put in two balls and then scratched. It was back to him. While I was shooting, tom decided to write again.

tomlagosa: mcdonald’s
tomlagosa: that slogan, I’m lovin it

Yeah, dick, I understand. Against my better judgment, I responded.

earthdiestonight: oh i get it

I watched him sink another shot. tom may have been a moron, but he was kicking my ass.

tomlagosa: bet u like dat to don’t u
tomlagosa: lol

My head was pounding as I tried to understand his “kiddie speak,” which confounds and infuriates me almost as much as ebonics does, but I bit my tongue and didn’t say anything back.

He shot again, putting another ball away, but then the cueball took off in an unexpected and hit the 8-ball, which leisurely rolled into the corner pocket, thus ending the game and making yours truly the victor.

earthdiestonight: lol! i do like dat, yo! lol!

To which tom promptly replied:

tomlagosa: fuck u

And after he hurriedly left the room without saying goodbye, I realized I had just made a best friend for life.

JAB

I watched Memento at Nate and Erin’s last night, and I thought it was a very intriguing and good movie. It makes me want to see the director’s other movie, Insomnia. Also, before we watched the movie, we went to Don Pablo’s. Oh, it was heavenly.

So I had this mole removed from my back on Friday. It was kind of a “let’s get it off so it never becomes cancerous” deal. But damn — that shit hurts! The actual surgery didn’t because they used a type of Novocain anesthesia, but the last two days have been a bitch. It’s like someone keeps jamming a knife into my back. Sitting and standing has been unpleasant, so you can imagine I’ve been having a swell time. Today it’s not too bad though. Now I just have to be careful not to pop the stitches.

Does anyone remember the computer game, “Lemmings?” The original is probably about twelve years old now. It’s a sort of puzzle game, and you get these lemmings and you can have them do certain functions (blocking, tunneling, building stairs, and blowing themselves up), and the object is to navigate them to the exit. It’s very simple, but a lot of fun. I found my old copy of it so I installed it, and have been playing it quite a bit the last few days.

I think I’ll forego playing it today and instead work on the “Destiny” comic.

JAB

Once more, that great bastion of freedom, the weekend, is upon us. Or at least for me it is, what with me not having school on Fridays and all. This is going to turn into a busy quarter in a few weeks, but for now, all is quiet.

I finished “Indiana Jones and the Fate of Atlantis” last night. Considering that I had school and work mixed in there, I finished it in only four days. That’s pretty good for me. My “Indy Quotient” (IQ, get it?) was 583. I’m not sure if that’s very high, since there wasn’t any scale to compare it to, but I like to think I rocked the hell outta the game.

I was listening to the radio today — which is a somewhat rare occurrence — and this interesting song came on that I haven’t heard before. It was real catchy and sort of a blend of rock, pop, and a wee bit hip-hop (Hmm…that last sentence was sort of Dr. Seussian. Odd.). I didn’t hear what band it was, but I caught the name of the song, which was “Hey Ya.” Since the song was on Z 93, which is Dayton’s popular music station, I assumed the band would probably be on MTV. So I went to MTV.com and searched for “Hey Ya” and was extremely surprised to see that Outkast performs it, and I *also* discovered that they perform one of my most hated songs ever, that being “Ms. Jackson.” After learning this, I became slightly worried that the paradoxical quandary of liking one song while utterly despising another by the same artist would overload my brain, and I would then promptly combust. Fortunately, it didn’t.

Okay, time to watch “The Daily Show” then work on the “Destiny” comic.

JAB

I did a lot today, considering I really did nothing. I’ve been busy the last couple of weeks, hanging out with people regularly, so it was nice to just take a day to be antisocial and just do fun stuff, by my lonesome.

I installed and played for several hours “Indiana Jones and the Fate of Atlantis,” which was one of my favorite games for a long time. Even with its crappy graphics and lack of sound, the game still rocks. After I beat it, I’m gonna go back and hit the other LucasArts titles, like “Sam and Max Hit the Road” and “Day of the Tentacle.”

Aside from video gaming, I read comic books, which in turn inspired me to work on the script for the comic book Jason and I are working on. You may remember it, since it was originally a screenplay named “Destiny.” We chucked that a few months ago, fleshed out the story, and are now trying to turn it into a comic. So if you’re an artist and would seriously like to draw a comic book, email me.

Oh. And I worked on some lite school work.

Nate and Erin had their wedding reception/party last night. Though I got there as a lot of people were leaving, I nonetheless had a good time. I might have some pictures up from it in a few days.

Okay, I need to get a little bit more gaming time in before I head to bed.

JAB

Just got back from an intense Mario Tennis tournament at my friend Bill’s house. There were about sixteen people playing, on teams of two, in a double elimination contest. There was a five dollar entry fee, with the winning team splitting the pot. I got my ass handed to me the first game, but then my cohort (I think Brent was his name) and I won our second match, and very closely lost our third match with Josh Guild and his teammate. It was a lot of fun, but I had to leave after we lost the last time ’cause I have to work tomorrow morning. So I won’t find out who won the tournament and the eighty bucks ’til later this week.

I do believe I am going to purchase Mario Tennis very soon. After tonight, I was once again reminded of the power it can hold over me. Then I just have to find some people to play with to hone my racket-wielding skills.

JAB

Nate and I bought UNREAL TOURNAMENT 2003 today. This game rocks so much, when you’re able to play it. We installed it on Nate’s computers (they’re networked together) and we had major problems with gameplay. The graphics were horrible and everything kept lagging. We’re pretty sure the problem lays with the video card. I’m hoping he can talk to his poppa about it, whom maybe can help us out. I took the game home with me and installed it on my laptop, and it works beautifully. The game totally rocks. If we cannot get the game to work at Nate’s, at least we can still play the game at my house on my network.

I have a goodbye party thing at the house of Lynne, my manager, in about an hour. I kind of left on poor terms, so I’m hoping this shin-dig isn’t awkward. If it does get uncomfortable, I’ll feign explosive diarrhea and make a hasty exit.

JAB