…he said, his famous “Riker grin” lighting up his face. “After all, I am pretty awesome.”

Your results:
You are Will Riker

Will Riker 55% Jean-Luc Picard 50% Geordi LaForge 50% James T. Kirk (Captain) 50% Data 41% An Expendable Character (Redshirt) 40% Worf 35% Chekov 35% Spock 32% Deanna Troi 30% Mr. Scott 30% Leonard McCoy (Bones) 30% Mr. Sulu 25% Uhura 25% Beverly Crusher 20%

At times you are self-centered but you have many friends. You love many women, but the right woman could get you to settle down.

It’s Tuesday, I’m overheated from power walking at the nearby park, and feeling gross from the 32oz Gatorade I just drained, so it seems like the perfect time to point you towards several videos that have been amusing me lately.

Most of these are fairly recent creations; one or two of them are older, but new to me. Enjoy.

Funny or Die managed to get together all the guys who have ever played Presidents on SNL for a short video, and the results were pretty awesome:

Toby Jones runs several small businesses, and has created several commercials to educate you on his various services:

OK Go might be a terrible band, and their song “This Too Shall Pass” might blow a donkey, but the video for the song is pure genius: a gigantic Rube Goldberg filmed in one take:

Probably one of the funnier videos I’ve seen on YouTube lately:

“For Pete’s sake, you knocked her bloody block off! Wanna take advantage of her?”

In this episode of STAR TREK, Kirk prepares to make First Contact with a Big Shoulder Pad being from Soarbuhm VII:

(From Things That Are Doing It.)

Head is hurting so bad I wish it would fall off, but I wanted to share with you the Quote of the Day:

“A gentleman’s todger should never be larger than the fine cigar he smokes.” –Winstonchurchil

Sage wisdom, indeed.

John Scalzi relinked the other day to his version of a holiday classic: “The Ten Least Successful Holiday Specials of All Time.”

Every year, for the last five or so years, Scalzi relinks to it, and every year I reread it because a) it’s so damn funny, and b) I generally forget what most of the entries were. I also get jealous every year after I read it, because I would be hard-pressed to come up with anything so nearly as clever.

My favorite of the bunch is “The Lost Star Trek Christmas Episode: ‘A Most Illogical Holiday.’” It’s hilarious, and it’s about Star Trek, so what’s not to like? Here is a brief snippet:

Mr. Spock, with his pointy ears, is hailed as a messiah on a wintry world where elves toil for a mysterious master, revealed to be Santa just prior to the first commercial break. Santa, enraged, kills Ensign Jones and attacks the Enterprise in his sleigh. As Scotty works to keep the power flowing to the shields, Kirk and Bones infiltrate Santa’s headquarters. With the help of the comely and lonely Mrs. Claus, Kirk is led to the heart of the workshop, where he learns the truth: Santa is himself a pawn to a master computer, whose initial program is based on an ancient book of children’s Christmas tales.

To find out what happens to Captain Kirk & Co. next, go to Scalzi’s site. The Star Trek one is the fourth down. But while you’re there, you may as well read the rest. They’re worth it.

This guy I know, Nick Pappagiorgio, filmed a short movie with some of his friends. It is many things: charming, awkward, and more than a little NSFW. After watching it, you will probably feel somewhat discomforted. I know I was.

A bit of background info, as taken from the YouTube description:

A scene from a masterpiece: Massacre on the Interstate. The dialog has not been edited and is read exactly how it’s written in the novel. There are 3 verbal additions, however, though they’re tasteful and only enhance the viewing experience.

In this scene, a man buys a hooker and is happy he shaved off all his pubic hairs.

Now really — what more could you want in a movie?

Lately, whenever I am feeling down or a little sad, I open this photo…

…and I remember that someone always has it worse than me. And that cheers me up.

Of course, Nate the Penguin also does a wonderful job of brightening my mood.

Just out and about quite a bit lately.  I’m off work this entire week, which is swell, and have just been busy playing Starcraft, NBA Jam, writing, hanging out, and gambling.

More later. And in case I don’t post again before Christmas (which seems probable), I hope everyone has a fantastic, secular Christmas, and leave you with this (via Tom tomorrow):

Every time I look at this poor, miserable penguin, a smile comes to my face:

I think I am going to name him Nate.

JAB