The trailer for JOHN CARTER — the upcoming movie based on Edgar Rice Burroughs’s excellent book, JOHN CARTER OF MARS — looks absolutely phenomenal.

I have great and justified hope that this will be an amazing film. Its writer/director, one Andrew Stanton, is the same fellow who also wrote and directed Pixar’s FINDING NEMO and WALL-E. So clearly the man knows his shit. Michael Chabon also came in to do some rewrites, which can only have strengthened an already tight script.

JOHN CARTER’s story is actually based not on JOHN CARTER OF MARS, but on the first book in Burroughs’s Barsoom series (Barsoom, of course, being the Martians’ name for their planet), A PRINCESS OF MARS. I’m guessing after the MARS NEEDS MOMS debacle this spring, the executives at Disney wanted a non-girly sounding name that wouldn’t drive the teenage boys away in droves.

The movie doesn’t actually come out till next March, which isn’t exactly soon, but for now this trailer at least provides a tantalizing glimpse.

I don’t typically read “humor” books.

It’s not that I have anything against them; they just aren’t my thing. So it was on a whim that I picked up SHIT MY DAD SAYS at the library.

You’ve no doubt heard of it. It’s the book by Justin Halpern that’s based on his Twitter feed, also called Shit My Dad Says, wherein he basically posts the random shit his dad says. There’s also that awful-looking William Shatner sitcom the book spawned, the much less funnier named $#*! MY DAD SAYS.

It’s a short book, less than 200 pages. It’s divided into a number of short, chronologically-ordered chapters. Each one starts off with a few relevant Twitter posts, then moves onto an essay wherein Halpern relates some incident from his past — most of which involve him doing something embarrassing and/or stupid — and the blunt, honest, and humorous way his dad becomes handles the situation.

Halpern’s writing style is straightforward and very funny. The material alone would make for an amusing read, but the wit he displays in telling his stories is what elevates the book to hilarious.

A sample chapter can be found over at Deadspin, to give you an idea of what the book is like. I’d recommend checking it out.

The U.K. edition of William Gibson’s new novel ZERO HISTORY, which I already prefer to the cover of the American edition, boasts a particularly clever bit of design work on the back cover.

I wants.

I have yet to read the most recent Dresden Files book, CHANGES, but I’m very curious as to how exactly it ends, because Jim Butcher was posting some cryptic stuff earlier today on Twitter, such as:

Honestly, I don’t get it. Cliffhangers are when you DON’T know what happens.

I stand by my earlier reasoning. Not a cliffhanger when you know the outcome.

And I make the first concealed quote from book 13, GHOST STORY, baZING.

The title? Implying something? Would I do that to you guys?

Yeah, GHOST STORY? Seriously?

Even though I can’t wait to read CHANGES, something tells me that when I’m finished with it I’m going to be very salty about having to wait another year for the next book.

I finished reading Warren Ellis’s SHVERING SANDS yesterday, a collection of essays and various writings Ellis has spewed onto the Web over the last seven years.

What I enjoy about Ellis’s writing is that not only does he entertain me as a dancing monkey would, but he also brings to my attention interesting and weird things I might otherwise never have known.

For instance, in one entry he was discussing how drug use can sometimes fuel stories writers might otherwise not have come up with. In particular he mentioned Terence McKenna, a writer/philosopher who used psychedelics in part to form his view of the world. One of Ellis’s favorite McKenna stories was about a time bifurcation that posited a world where Jesus Christ had never been born, and the positive effects this had therein.

I had never heard of McKenna before, but the story sounded interesting, so a quick google later and I was able to locate a copy of the essay in question, “The Great Timestream Bifurcation”:

The soliton of improbability which interacted with our world occurred two thousand years ago in the phenomenon of the Immaculate Conception. An event that I think you and I can agree is highly improbable! But let us take it at face value and see if we can work with it. When the Immaculate Conception occurred through the collision of the soliton of improbability with this Galilean village girl called Marian or Mary, in one world she became impregnated with a figure destined for a great religious and political future: our world. The world in which Christ was born, became a young man, taught his message, and went to his execution around 27 AD. Another world sprang into existence at the moment of the Immaculate Conception and in that world nothing whatsoever happened to this young Galilean girl. She continued to live with Joseph. He continued to make fine furniture. Eventually they were able to move to the better side of Nazareth. And that was their story.

So you see I’m suggesting that at the time of Christ, a parallel world came into existence that knew nothing of Christ. And consequently the forces which shattered Roman civilization never came into existence in that parallel world.

The essay isn’t very long, and if you’re into this sort of thing, it’s definitely worth a couple of minutes of your time to read. McKenna’s take on the Tunguska event is particularly cool.

And if you like having a middle-aged Englishman shout at you (or you enjoy HOUSE), you should definitely buy SHIVERING SANDS.

Curses! John Scalzi, who wrote the awesome sci-fi novel Old Man’s War, was in Greenville for some “author’s night” thing last Friday, and I didn’t find out about it till today. I would have really liked to meet the man and get a book signed. That’s right: I’m a big geek, and I’m fucking proud about it.

Scalzi also runs a badass blog, the Whatever, and writes in it quite a bit. An unholy amount, actually. And yet he still has found the time to publish two books in 2006, and, like, eighteen next year. And they’re good too. Anyway, if you enjoy science fiction of any sort, I highly recommend Old Man’s War. Hell, even if the closest you’ve gotten to anything even resembling science fiction is Star Wars, you should read OMW. I mean, really — what else do you have to do with your free time? Loser.

I missed Scalzi, yes, but I do have a chance to see another author I like. Bob Mayer (pseudonymously known as Robert Doherty, author of the Area 51 series of books) is going to be at Books and Co. this Tuesday with Jennifer Crusie, his collaborator on their most recent book, Don’t Look Down. Crusie writes funny romance books (so I’ve heard, at least; I don’t read that yechy crap) and Mayer writes military thriller/sci-fi, so DLD is being described as a romantic adventure with a lot of humor. Haven’t had a chance to buy it yet, but it’s supposed to be quite good. They, too, have a blog, which is pretty entertaining: He Wrote, She Wrote. I’d like to meet Mayer and get some swag signed; however, I don’t want to be a big crazy loser and go by myself, so I’ll probably pass. ‘Twould be neat, though.

JAB

2006 has so far been a very good year for me, writing-wise. I mailed out “Into the Abyss” to F&SF, started the revisions to “Thirty Well Spent,” and last night I did something I’ve never done before. I wrote an entire story from start to finish in one sitting. It’s a bit shorter than the other two I mentioned, about 3000+ words, but for me that’s still quite an accomplishment. I’d like to be able to keep that momentum going for the rest of the year, but we’ll just have to see what happens. Otherwise, I haven’t been doing shit. I finally got over being sick, though I may have passed it on to my sister. Sucks for her, but the important thing is that I’m feeling better.

Also, I just finished reading tonight what I think is one of the best books period I’ve read in some time. It’s called Old Man’s War and it’s by John Scalzi. This novel has one of the more original plots I’ve seen in a long time and an engaging protagonist you quickly come to care for, while still easily providing the wit of a Peter David book. So if you like sci-fi books or Starship Troopers (as that is what the OMW has been compared to), I highly recommend Old Man’s War.

Okay, my book pimping is done. Time to get back to the writing.

JAB

In about ten days’ time I read all six of the Harry Potter books and loved ‘em. Except for the first. It was just “okay.” After coming back from Chicago — plus a little bit before and during Chicago — if I wasn’t working or hanging out, I was reading Harry Potter books. I think my favorite book thus far was Goblet of Fire, followed by Half-Blood Prince. Order of the Phoenix was good, especially the parts where the students were thwarting that Ministry of Magic bitch and the showdown at the Ministry of Magic itself. Regarding the most recent book, I think — wait. Just in case anyone reading this hasn’t read Half-Blood Prince yet and plans to, I’ll kindly hide the rest of this post behind the mighty Extended Entry.

(more…)

Just went Amazon dot comming. There was something I wanted for a while, but it was only fourteen dollars or so. See, I’m kind of cheap so I only order things from Amazon when my order totals at least $25. That way I get the free shipping. Today I ordered “Hulk Visionaries: Peter David Vol. 1″ by — wait for it — Peter David, as well as a CD: The Very Best of Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons.

I haven’t read much of PAD’s Incredible Hulk run from way back when, but since I’ve immensely enjoyed pretty much everything else the man has written, I’m willing to give it a shot. Not that anyone here cares. I forget that Jason and I are the only people that come to JBdN that read comic books. Sigh. At least I know Nate used to read some — he’s got the trade paperback of the issues where Spider-Man got his new black costume and went mad. Or at least he used to have it…hmm… Maybe I should ask if I can buy it off him, since it’s not like he’ll ever read it again (or that Erin would let him).

Uh-oh…this entry is threatening to turn stream-of-consciousness. Time to end it.

JAB

I was supposed to go with Sarah to see Todd’s new band, the Kessel Run, last night, but some stuff came up with Sarah, so we didn’t go. Instead, we went to dinner earlier in the evening at Bolt’s, which as always was damned tasty.

Today, I wanna go out and do stuff, but Dayton just happens to be smack-dab in a snowstorm, so leaving home is pretty much a no-go. The accumulation is fairly heavy, too. I can’t make out where the street meets my yard. It’s all a majestic white, except for a yellow spot where I believe someone’s dog relieved itself. I look outside and I can think about is how I eventually have to go out and shovel snow. Ugh.

Anna from Habitat called earlier, informing me I no longer have to go into Habitat tomorrow. I probably wasn’t going to go anyway, what with the snow and all, but at least I know now that no one will get pissed at me.

I think I’m just going to spend today reading and watching movies. I finished “Digital Fortress” this morning, which was pretty good, but not nearly as good as Dan Brown’s later books, “Angels & Demons” and the more-popular-than-the-Bible, “The Da Vinci Code.” It’s kind funny about these books: Sarah got me hooked onto them, and I in turn got Jason hooked onto them. Now I’m not sure what to read — either a trilogy on King Arthur’s return or Elmore Leonard’s “Get Shorty.” But before I make such a monumental decision, I shall go eat some lunch first.

Enjoy the snow day, everyone.

JAB