Ah, Japan. You are the gift that keeps on giving.

A quick google reveals that this is from an actual show in Japan, one called THE ANCIENT DOGOO GIRL, and it took over ULTRAMAN’s primetime slot last fall.

That’s right. This shit airs in primetime over in Japan.

It’s hard to say what I like the most about this clip. Is it Dogu-chan’s weaponized breasts which magically incinerate the koi ogre? No.

It’s also not the part where Dogu-chan handily defeats the mob of frightened townspeople horny menfolk pissed off because she’s destroyed the only thing that could give them koi (passion). She doesn’t incinerate them, though; her rack-of-all trades also comes equipped with stun beams, and allows her to simply knock them all out — much like Mantenna could do on SHE-RA: PRINCESS OF POWER. Except he used his eyes, not his boobz.

No, my favorite part of this clip comes at the very end, which finds our heroine celebrating the victory with friends over a bowl of rice, and she eats the fucking chopsticks.

Hey, Japan — we’ll trade you a DANCING WITH THE STARS or AMERICA’S NEXT TOP MODEL for this one.

Let me know.