This past Sunday I went to a birthday party for my devildaughter Kennedy. She turns one year old today. I got her a Spider-Man plush toy and some kind of rider thing bearing the likeness of Kai-Lan (think an Asian Dora the Explorer).

Kennedy is big for her age. I think her dad told me that size-wise she’s in the top 75th percentile, and — heh — her adorably large freak head is off the charts.

Because people tend to joke about the size of her head, some of her family thinks she’s going to end up with a complex about it when she’s older. I disagree. Making fun of a child is a good way to build self-esteem. It’s how I was raised, and I turned out fine, right?

Anyway. Happy Birthday, Kennedy. It’s all downhill from here, kid . . .

Nothing screams “Good morning, world” like a migraine so fierce you wake up dizzy, immediately followed by nauseous. S’why breakfast today consisted of donut holes from Jim’s Donuts, tea, and Vicodin. I had planned on getting some shit done this morning. We’ll see if that happens now. Seems like it’s gonna be one of those days.

. . . aaand now the tiny retarded dog upstairs is performing its annoying, staccato high-pitched barking routine. It probably senses that I hate it. And/or that my head wants to explode.

Christ. Yeah, definitely gonna be one of those days.

I’m not even gonna preface it, but to say this: you must read through — and withhold all judgment — until the end.

[Link via Scalzi]

Ah, Japan. You are the gift that keeps on giving.

A quick google reveals that this is from an actual show in Japan, one called THE ANCIENT DOGOO GIRL, and it took over ULTRAMAN’s primetime slot last fall.

That’s right. This shit airs in primetime over in Japan.

It’s hard to say what I like the most about this clip. Is it Dogu-chan’s weaponized breasts which magically incinerate the koi ogre? No.

It’s also not the part where Dogu-chan handily defeats the mob of frightened townspeople horny menfolk pissed off because she’s destroyed the only thing that could give them koi (passion). She doesn’t incinerate them, though; her rack-of-all trades also comes equipped with stun beams, and allows her to simply knock them all out — much like Mantenna could do on SHE-RA: PRINCESS OF POWER. Except he used his eyes, not his boobz.

No, my favorite part of this clip comes at the very end, which finds our heroine celebrating the victory with friends over a bowl of rice, and she eats the fucking chopsticks.

Hey, Japan — we’ll trade you a DANCING WITH THE STARS or AMERICA’S NEXT TOP MODEL for this one.

Let me know.

The Victoria Theatre has announced its “Michelob Ultra Cool Films” slate for this summer:

Each summer, the silver screen takes center stage. Our annual summer film series presents films from the classic era of Hollywood. A different Hollywood classic runs each weekend in July and August in the air-conditioned comfort of the Victoria Theatre.

I went to one of these a year or two ago, but I don’t recall what I saw. I think it might’ve been MONTY PYTHON AND THE HOLY GRAIL. It’s a fun time, though. The Victoria is a comfy theater, and there’s free popcorn and soda. Tickets are only five bucks, too, so it’s a good deal overall.

Nice to see CASABLANCA and ANIMAL HOUSE included on the list, and not just the typical, boring offerings like THE MUSIC MAN, MY FAIR LADY, and FIDDLER ON THE ROOF. Those are fine films, and I don’t believe any of them have been shown in the Cool Films of yesteryear . . . however, they’re also, in my opinion, the sort of stereotypical films that usually get included on lists of “classics” like the Cool Films series. Diversity is nice, is all I’m saying.

Hmm. Speaking of diversity, it seems the Victoria’s also stepped up this year and finally showing some old school summer blockbusters in the form of the INDIANA JONES trilogy. (Yes, I said “trilogy” and not “tetralogy.” As far as I’m concerned, the most recent Indy movie never happened.) I caught RAIDERS and TEMPLE last year when the Regal briefly flirted with airing films of yore, but wouldn’t mind seeing them again on the silver screen.

Good show, Victoria — you earned my business again. I full-well intend to hit up the Indy movies and CASABLANCA. Now if only they’d include JAWS and THE PRINCESS BRIDE in next year’s slate.

Took in a midnight showing of IRON MAN 2 last night with Jason and Jennifer. I hadn’t been to a midnight showing of a movie in several years, the last time being for REVENGE OF THE SITH. So . . . five years ago? Yeah.

The theater was packed, and hot and sweaty inside. I don’t think they turned on the air conditioner until midway through the movie. We got there about an hour before it began, so I was able to observe a number of people as they entered the theater.

Man, was it a self-esteem boost.

Between this guy who had fantasy nerd long hair and was wearing sweatpants and a fanny pack, and a short fat Hobbit kid clad in a 6XL Dragonball t-shirt, I felt like even I could start beating people up and taking their lunch money if I wanted to. I’m sure they’re good people, though . . . good people whose lunch money could’ve been mine!

The film itself was very good, much better than I had anticipated. The casting was spot-on: Downey, Rourke, and Rockwell dominated the scenes they were in, and hell — even Scarlett Johansson was eminently believable as the Black Widow. (And hot. Boy, was she hot.) The pacing was excellent, especially compared to the first, which at times kind of dragged a bit (e.g., the terrorist camp scene, the big fight at the end). What really makes these movies work, however, is the humor — specifically the humor that Downey seems to effortlessly generate in every scene he’s in. And this movie had it in spades.

Overall, IRON MAN 2 is a worthy follow-up to the original.