I get so frustrated sometimes with the direction our country has taken that I just want to scream…or kill a small puppy. In this case, I’d also settle for the asshole who invented the phrase “intelligent design”:
TOPEKA, Kansas (AP) — At the risk of re-igniting the same heated nationwide debate it sparked six years ago, the Kansas Board of Education approved new public school science standards Tuesday that cast doubt on the theory of evolution.
The 6-4 vote was a victory for “intelligent design” advocates who helped draft the standards. Intelligent design holds that the universe is so complex that it must have been created by a higher power.
Critics of the language charged that it was an attempt to inject God and creationism into public schools in violation of the separation of church and state.
All six of those who voted for the standards were Republicans. Two Republicans and two Democrats voted against them.
“This is a sad day. We’re becoming a laughingstock of not only the nation, but of the world, and I hate that,” said board member Janet Waugh, a Kansas City Democrat.
Supporters of the standards said they will promote academic freedom. “It gets rid of a lot of dogma that’s being taught in the classroom today,” said board member John Bacon, an Olathe Republican.
And as if that weren’t bad enough, there’s this, the icing on the cake:
In addition, the board rewrote the definition of science, so that it is no longer limited to the search for natural explanations of phenomena.
Right. So according to their definition of science, anyone can make up whatever shit he or she wants and it’s automatically an explanation for phenomena in the universe. Fantastic.
Now that this is all out in the open, I can finally let you all in on a little secret:
I created the universe.
Because I’m God. Not just a god, either, but the God.
And for my first public act as God, I am going to transport the city of Topeka, Kansas back in time 6000 years when — as everyone knows — dinosaurs ruled the Earth. But don’t fret for the safety of the Topekans — I’m sure all of the humans living side-by-side with the dinosaurs will protect them, right? I mean, according to most Bible-fuckers, once upon a time humans and dinosaurs coexisted, at least until the liberal, heathen dinosaurs were struck down by God me and the worthy humans inherited the Earth. ‘Cause according to the board of education of Topeka, Kansas (the very same board of education that brought you this little case fifty years ago), science now implies that this, in all likelihood, is (probably) true.
To read the story that sparked this little tirade, go here. And to you people who think intelligent design should be taught alongside evolution, one: take your kid to whatever private school will indoctrinate the little bugger for you and leave the already intelligently-designed curriculums of public schools the hell alone,and two:
Go fuck yourselves.
JAB
14 Responses to “FUCK INTELLIGENT DESIGN”
I hate those that make the argument to teach both (intelligent design and evolution) and let the kids decide. With that line of thinking, we should also teach astrology with astronomy; alchemy with chemistry; and phrenology with psychology.
Being a psychology student myself, does this mean I can start attributing the complex nature of schizophrenia to Satan? Maybe I should recommend to my supervisor at my clinical practicum site that we should hire an exorcist for the kids who do not respond well to Seroquel or Risperdal.
Also, if this design is so “intelligent,” then why the hell do I have body hair, goosebumps, a tail bone, an appendix, pinky toes, or any other useless body part that seems to be leftovers?
I call for the resignation of Kansas as a state. Sure it would really fuck up what the US map would look like, but this is too much of an embarassment to be associated with.
Dude, you are so not god. If you were god than I’d be dating Alex Mack and you’d be dating Nikki Taylor, or her younger sister if she even had one, and we’d be co-ruling the world, as per our daily scheme.
Oh, and midgets on stepstools would be ruining everyone’s day if they had the misfortune of using old 19th century British cameras that take like an hour to take a picture.
There will never be any happy medium as long as both sides find the other extremely difficult to believe. Did anyone ever stop to think if both could coexist? Let me know if they rename Kansas after all this. I’ll have to change my birth certificate.
I had that same conversation with Diana last night Bill, and it made me very angry, and I came to the conclusion that NO, they could not, people could claim to believe in both but they’d only be lying to themselves.
Let me clarify a point that I think might have been overlooked in my post:
I am not against kids learning the theory of “intelligent design.” If a parent wants their kid to learn about it, well bully for them. I just don’t think that kid should be taught it in a public school. If a parent does feel that strongly about it, then that person should have their child attend a private school where the emphasis is more weighted towards religion. I still don’t think the two origin stories can coexist, but that’s just my opinion. The Topeka board of education did, however, step over a line they had no business crossing, namely redefining science and saying intelligent design is an acceptable subject for some twelve year-old’s science class.
JAB
Did you ever find those matchbooks, dude? I remember you said you were looking for them. They wouldn’t still be on the computer desk in the basement, would they?
And our daily scheme fucking rocked.
JAB
I don’t see how they can’t, but risking further debate, I’ll agree to disagree.
Ah, a fun debate. Bill, I think Josh hasn’t made the biggest problem he has with this clear enough. The issue really isn’t that they’re teaching intelligent design, the issue is that this pretty much wipes out the concept of seperation between church and state. From what this board of education is doing, they don’t want seperation. Of also disturbing thought is that they’ve decided to redefine science to fit their own ends. That’s where the problems with what they’ve done come in. Not solely issues with the theory of intelligent design.
nate, are you still hooked on Alex Mack?? I guess it’s good to know that some things will never change.
what the fark is alex mack?
Alex Mack as in “The Secret World of Alex Mack,” what used to be a very awesome TV show. Nated used to — and I believe may still — have a crush on her.
JAB
I see how that can be extremely harmful, Jason. Josh’s points against the article are mostly valid. I personally don’t think the Bible states that the Earth is 6000 years old. I’d like to know who came up with that and when that came about. Really to me it doesn’t matter how old it is. I just don’t agree with what Nick said about my earlier comment and I don’t speak in definites about it; only possibilities.
At the risk of beating a dead horse with a mallet…
(Emphasis mine.) Via Answers in Genesis.
So, Bill, you personally may not believe that God created the earth 6000 years ago — but enough people do. And that disturbs me.
JAB
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