Dear Blog,

Hello! How’s it going? Sorry I haven’t written in so long. I think this has been the longest lapse yet. I want you to know that it’s not that I don’t care and have lost interest in you; it’s nothing like that at all. I just haven’t been inspired lately. I do nothing exciting, at all. I work, I intern, I write, and I read books by Harry Turtledove — that’s been my life for about the last month.

I find it funny that I’m looking forward to going back to school. Maybe it’s because, since I have a fairly easy schedule, life will become a little less hectic. The internship will be ending, I’ll be cutting back on work…Or maybe it’s because this is My Last Quarter Ever of school (that is, unless I do something foolhardy like eventually go to grad school) and then the Great Unknown beckons: a notion that is becoming less scary as the weeks wear on. Whatever the reason, school no longer makes me stomach sour; Wal-Mart currently holds that position.

Speaking of that evil corporate entity, Bill is getting a job there, once Jennifer gets back from her vacation. He had some shit go down at his previous job, Gamestop, and wants to give Wal-Mart the old college try again (Brief aside: Bill calls the evil Powers That Be at his previous employer the “Gamestopo,” a term which I find to be quite clever. For those of you out there who don’t understand and need shit spelled out to you like a bleating goat, Gamestoppo is a slight modification of Gestapo, the infamous Nazi German secret police). It’ll be good to work with another friend again, and have another good, reliable employee. Oh, and Bill, if you’re reading this: if you turn out to be a fuckstick of an employee…I will eat your soul! But I’m sure you won’t, right?

So, dear blog, that’s all the current going-ons in my life right now. Once again, I affirm my pledge to write you more often. If not, may ten-thousand monkeys descend upon my house and wreak havoc upon my person.

Sincerely,
JAB