So, like I usually do whilst studying, I was taking a break earlier today and playing a few rounds of Yahoo! Pool. How it works is, you join these little chatrooms so you can shoot pool and talk to people.

I generally don’t like talking to people on these things (Erin excluded), because it’s boring small talk and I’m doing other things while playing.

Enter tomlagosa. He joins my room, and we began to play. His first turn, he put in five balls right away. I checked his stats, and he’d won 200-something out of his last 300 games, which is pretty damn good. Then, I noticed tomlagosa had started talking to me. I immediately realized I was up against a great intellect and communicator, who was also quite humble about his pool-shooting skills.

tomlagosa: u like dat don’t u

Like I said, I don’t usually like making chit-chat, but I thought I’d be polite and respond, and then hopefully he’d leave me alone.

earthdiestonight: yep, I’m loving it

It was my turn and I put in two balls and then scratched. It was back to him. While I was shooting, tom decided to write again.

tomlagosa: mcdonald’s
tomlagosa: that slogan, I’m lovin it

Yeah, dick, I understand. Against my better judgment, I responded.

earthdiestonight: oh i get it

I watched him sink another shot. tom may have been a moron, but he was kicking my ass.

tomlagosa: bet u like dat to don’t u
tomlagosa: lol

My head was pounding as I tried to understand his “kiddie speak,” which confounds and infuriates me almost as much as ebonics does, but I bit my tongue and didn’t say anything back.

He shot again, putting another ball away, but then the cueball took off in an unexpected and hit the 8-ball, which leisurely rolled into the corner pocket, thus ending the game and making yours truly the victor.

earthdiestonight: lol! i do like dat, yo! lol!

To which tom promptly replied:

tomlagosa: fuck u

And after he hurriedly left the room without saying goodbye, I realized I had just made a best friend for life.

JAB