I saw Bubba Ho-Tep yesterday with Sarah and her dad. It was very good, but completely what I wasn’t expecting. When Bruce Campbell is playing an elderly Elvis who fights alongside a black JFK against a cowboy mummy, set at a nursing home in Texas, one expects a fair amount of camp. But there wasn’t. Bruce Campbell could easily have done an over-the-top Elvis, but he gave a very low-key performance, portraying a man who was very introspective, looking back on the decisions he’d made over his life (like abandoning his old life to take over the life of the Elvis impersonator, Sebastian Hall, or something like that).

I suppose I should tell you that Bubba Ho-Tep was not a boring movie at all. There was quite a bit of humor in the movie, which there would have to be just from the premise alone. I mean, a mummy that extracts one’s soul via one’s asshole is pure comedic gold! Also, there’s a lot of Elvis lamenting his erectile dysfunction: “It had been two Presidential elections since I’d had a boner.” And at the end of the movie, after the credits have run their course, the screen proclaims that “Elvis will return in ‘Bubba Nosferatu!’ ”

It was very nice to not see any Army, car, or soft drink commercials before the movie, which I guess is a benefit of being a privately held movie theater. The previews were interesting, too, showcasing odd movies that I generally wouldn’t hear about elsewhere, like The Lost Skeleton of Cadavra. That movie looks like it riffs on all the old b-movies from the forties and fifties. I can’t wait for it to come out, ’cause it looks hilarious, but “Early 2004″ is somewhat vague as far as release dates go. One of the downsides to being an independent film, I suppose.

JAB

P.S. – Coming, in Early 2004, yet another new look for this site!

This is all I’m going to say about gay marriage, and then I’m done.

Our economy is on a downward slide, Iraq is still not any safer than it was a year ago — indeed, it’s probably less safe, there’s a liar in the White House, America isn’t any safer, just more complacent with our “Security,” and less prepared for another terrorist attack. And when I flip on the television and pop over to any news channel, all I see is everyone bitching about gay marriage and how it defies the “sanctity of marriage” and this new talk of a Constitutional amendment outlawing gay marriage proposed by the party that always blathers on about “small government is good” and then turns around and goes all hypocritical.

So let me just say this: If you have a problem with two people who love each other and want to get married to affirm that love, then you can go fuck yourself.

This country has far more important things to be worrying about.

JAB

For those who are interested, Yummy Reviews is now up and running.

YR consists of music, book, movie, and video game reviews by Nate. He has a very witty writing style and he’s not afraid to say what’s on his mind, no matter how many people will get pissed off. I definitely recommend checking it out.

JAB

Great. In a terrifying flashback to 2000, Ralph Nader is once more going to run for the Presidency, which means he could potentially hand the election over to Bush again. Just to recap a little bit of history: in the 2000 election, Nader only won 2.7% of the general vote, but in Florida and New Hampshire Bush won by such narrow margins that if Gore had received most of Nader’s votes in those two states, Gore would have won them, as well as the whole shebang.

I think Nader’s goals are laudable: he’s trying to take back Washington, which has been hijacked by corporate interests. He’s also trying to take down the two-party system, because he believes the Republican and Democrat parties are indistinguishable from each other. I think he’s fairly accurate in the former assessment, though a little off in the latter.

There is enough of a difference between the two major parties, coupled with the fact that Bush seems intent on going, “Bush Smash!” to the economy and the rest of the world, that I want a Democrat in the White House, and badly so. And if this coming election — with polls already having a potential Bush and Kerry contest as being too close to call — is soured by Nader’s presence, then I feel that the Democratic candidate would again lose.

I nearly voted for Nader out of principle in the 2000 election because I wanted to support a third-party candidate. At the last moment, however, I voted for Gore because I realized I really didn’t want Bush to win. If this current election follows past trends, Nader’s attempts at challenging the system could result in another agonizingly four long years with President Bush. And then we’re really fucked.

I went to Disney on Ice tonight with the fam. It was pretty good; the Peter Pan and 101 Dalmatians crap was boring, but the other stuff was cool. What sucked was that we had these seats on the floor-level. Now, normally you’d think that would be nice, y’know, being close to the action, so to speak. And it was, but what wasn’t nice was that they crammed the seats — which seemed to be child-sized — right next to each other, so it was uncomfortably cramped. Especially for this fat dude in front of me: he took up one-and-a-half seats. If everyone was just my size, then there would be no problem. Alas, that is not the case.

There’s a new Spark quiz out. It’s called the OKCupid quiz, or some other type of nonsense. Anyway, like a lot of ‘em, it tells you what kind of lover/person you are when it comes to relationships. Oddly enough, it was nearly uncanny in its accuracy. If you’d like to take it, go here.

If you do take it, I’m curious what it says about you and how accurate you think it is. Feel free to mention the results in the comments.

JAB

So, like I usually do whilst studying, I was taking a break earlier today and playing a few rounds of Yahoo! Pool. How it works is, you join these little chatrooms so you can shoot pool and talk to people.

I generally don’t like talking to people on these things (Erin excluded), because it’s boring small talk and I’m doing other things while playing.

Enter tomlagosa. He joins my room, and we began to play. His first turn, he put in five balls right away. I checked his stats, and he’d won 200-something out of his last 300 games, which is pretty damn good. Then, I noticed tomlagosa had started talking to me. I immediately realized I was up against a great intellect and communicator, who was also quite humble about his pool-shooting skills.

tomlagosa: u like dat don’t u

Like I said, I don’t usually like making chit-chat, but I thought I’d be polite and respond, and then hopefully he’d leave me alone.

earthdiestonight: yep, I’m loving it

It was my turn and I put in two balls and then scratched. It was back to him. While I was shooting, tom decided to write again.

tomlagosa: mcdonald’s
tomlagosa: that slogan, I’m lovin it

Yeah, dick, I understand. Against my better judgment, I responded.

earthdiestonight: oh i get it

I watched him sink another shot. tom may have been a moron, but he was kicking my ass.

tomlagosa: bet u like dat to don’t u
tomlagosa: lol

My head was pounding as I tried to understand his “kiddie speak,” which confounds and infuriates me almost as much as ebonics does, but I bit my tongue and didn’t say anything back.

He shot again, putting another ball away, but then the cueball took off in an unexpected and hit the 8-ball, which leisurely rolled into the corner pocket, thus ending the game and making yours truly the victor.

earthdiestonight: lol! i do like dat, yo! lol!

To which tom promptly replied:

tomlagosa: fuck u

And after he hurriedly left the room without saying goodbye, I realized I had just made a best friend for life.

JAB

I have a busy weekend ahead of me. I’m going down to Cincy tonight to see Sarah, then I get up tomorrow morning, drive home and immediately go to work. After work, I’m hanging out with Nate and Erin, and then Sunday I have to study for an exam and work on a debate. It should be fun, though. Well, except Sunday. That day will blow.

There’s a special Valentine’s Day issue of FADE IN now up, entitled “I Choo Choo Choose You” for your reading pleasure. Here’s a biref excerpt:

Ah, February, the month where everyone’s thoughts start turning to that romantic holiday. No, not Presidents’ Day, though that is a fairly amorous occasion. I’m talking about Valentine’s Day. Where those with a boyfriend or girlfriend, wife or husband begin to fret over what to get the other, and those who are bitterly alone drink themselves into oblivion to stave off depression and loneliness.

I personally have never understood either mindset. To me, Valentine’s Day has always been just one step above Sweetest Day. You buy the obligatory roses and cars and candy, hoping to get lucky because of it, and then you’re safe. It’s as if people realize, Shit, I’ve got someone special in my life, so I need to buy her something this 14th of February. And then afterwards, it’s, Whew. Safe again until next year. Wait! Shit! Her birthday’s next month! Damn you, holidays!

Read the rest here.

See ya Sunday!

JAB

I’m sitting here in the study lounge at Wright State, sipping a cappuccino and waiting for my group members to arrive so we can work on our upcoming presentation. Right now, though, all I can think is, Damn, I wish I was in bed right now. I was over at Erin’s last night, drinking ’til after 4, and had to get up at 7 am to register for classes. Not exactly my wisest move ever, but it was worth it, ’cause it was fun. So I’m running on very little sleep, which brings me back to the “I wish I was in bed” line of thinking. I have decided to only go to one class tomorrow, so I get to sleep in and leave early, which is the best of both worlds for me. Logic dictates that I will go to bed early, to rest myself, but being a human, logic doesn’t mean crap to me.

Nate decided to call his little website “Yummy Reviews.” It should be ready to roll in just a few days, possibly by tomorrow night.

So.

Sleepy.

Maybe I won’t go to class either tonight. Fuck my edumakation, what did it ever do for me?

JAB

I enjoy these relaxing evenings spent on the computer. I don’t work until eleven tomorrow, so I can stay up extra-late! I’ve been chatting with Erin while I build a website for Nate. The design is pretty sweet, at least in my humble opinion. He’s going to be doing movie, video games, and CD reviews, I believe. Should prove to be pretty cool.

Maddox, the guy who runs The Best Page in the Universe, wrote a hilarious article about Bill O’Reilly a few days ago. For all you (myself included) O’Reilly haters out there, it’s a must read. The whole site is pretty damn funny, so if you enjoy mean-spirited humor, his is the site for you. One of these days, I’m gonna completely redo the links for the site. I’ll add a separate page for most of the links, while the various blogs I read I’ll keep around on the front page. One day.

JAB

Whew. Glad this week is almost over. It seems all I’ve been doing the last few days is studying for stupid exams and doing homework. No one ever told me there would be any studying involved at college. You damned, dirty guidance counselors!

So I discovered last night what my drink of choice is: tequila. It doesn’t taste that bad, it gets the job done, and doesn’t leave me with the slightest bit of a hangover the next morning. Whereas beer leaves me feeling like I’m gonna puke all the next day. Plus, tequila is cheap. I got a fairly big bottle at the liquor store for only ten dollars, and it’ll last me at least two outings. ‘Course, I do like all those new flavors of Smirnoff that are out. Those are quite tasty, but tequila…tequila’s my thing.

I’m excited! I have nothing to do tomorrow night and the first half of Friday, so I’m gonna work on my novel. Last week at school, a creative hurricane hit me while I was in class, and I wrote down all these great ideas that make up the next couple of chapters. It’s funny — sometimes it seems I only get these creative jolts when I’m in a place where I can’t do shit about it, like at school or work. Work’s the worst, ’cause I can’t even write down my ideas. But hopefully my mojo will still be working itself tomorrow evening and I can create something.

It’s alive! They called me mad, but I did it! It’s aliiiiiiiiiiive!

JAB